Okay, This movie was slow in the beginning. And tried very hard at having a good plot before heads were cut off and limbs were lost. The second half of the movie was awesome. (Just like the original)
The plot starts with a young girl and her stupid best friend. For some reason, They decided to cast the girl who the movie centers around with the ugliest actress they can find. I'm assuming Joan Rivers was too busy with the celebrity apprentice to take this role. I will refer to this chick as ugly throughout the review. This chick took off her clothes to reveal a two piece bikini. You could literally connect the dots with all her hairy moles and reveal a portrait of Maggie Gyllenhaal.
"U-G-L-Y.. You ain't got no alibi. You ugly! You, You You Ugly!"
The worst thing about going to see this movie were the women in the audience. Clapping and cheering everytime both female lead characters did something semi positive. (And yes, I'm counting Justin as one of them.You'll hear more about him later.) It was extremely annoying. I'm actually writing my letter to Obama now. You people shouldn't be allowed to vote anymore. We tried it, we gave you some time.. But it's just not going to work. Stay in your kitchens and do not go to the 7:20 show on opening night at Westbury Stadium!!
Okay, back to the review..
A band of thugs rape and brutalize these girls. They are complete assholes. Especially the head asshole's younger son, Justin. This little bitch tried to be the good guy. The emo kid who never does anything wrong. He stood up against his father and refused to take part. So he watched and cried. He did nothing. He sobbed and sniffled, and these idiot women in the crowd are like "Alright Justin!! YAY!!" and they clap there stupid asses off.
Hey morons, The guy sat back and watched these two girls get raped and murdered!! He did nothing! If this happened in real life he'd be charged as an ACCESSORY!!
Do you morons know what this is?
An accessory is a person who assists in the commission of a crime.
Sigh.
Not only that, but this poor girl's parents agree with the idiots in the audience! Poor Justin had nothing to do with it. Let's let him live and slaughter everyone else.
If this movie was about me getting owned by hairy dudes, my dad would have killed Justin, And that's why I'm rating this movie 1 out of 5 hairy moles.
People in my audience were cheering and clapping when the bad guys died. Not when she was getting raped. Your review, unless I read it wrong, seems to say that the women cheered when he did nothing?
ReplyDeleteOr did they cheer when he handed the parents the gun, or tried to shoot his own father? He's a scared kid, who knows only violence in his life, and finally took responsibility for his actions. Only problem was there were no bullets in the gun.
I understand annoying people in theaters, I honestly do, but to have the people WITH the movie, saddened by the girls, scared, and finally feeling justification when the bad guys got theirs, the theater went nuts and everybody finally had a release and clapped and hollered. It was one of the best times I had a theater.
Your reviews should be more subjective. 1/5? I'd love to know what you give 5/5. I have it an 8/10
Yea, They were cheering when he did nothing. I don't know how many times i heard "Good for you, Justin!" etc. When his dad asked him to pick one of the girls. Wow, Let's give Justin a medal for saying neither. That kid has a real heart of gold.
ReplyDeleteStick around, You'll see a 5/5 soon enough.