Tuesday, March 17, 2009

Next Review



It's sad when even Jessica Biel can't get your movie a good review.

Nicolas Cage, What happened my troubled friend? We had some pretty good times together. You made me laugh; you made me cry, and last night you made me want to stick my head inside Oprah's ass to see if I could actually find a bigger piece of shit somewhere else.

Someone tell Nicolas Cage that he is too old for these types of roles. You look ridiculous. It's embarrassing to see you running around and leaping from explosions. You are not Bruce Willis or even Sly. You are a wrinkled washed up dingle berry just hanging around Hollywood latching onto any role that will have you.

You were amazing in "8mm" or any role that actually suited you. This however, does not suit you. If "Forest Gump" needs a remake, I'm sure they will contact you. But for now, sit out, enjoy your royalty checks. Let those young whipper snappers make a couple of bucks.Pass the torch to the next generation of actor no one gives a shit about.Thank you, and goodnight!

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